[Intro]
Pinkard and Bowden, yeah
Thank you very much
Well, we had a request, but we're gonna stay up here and do another one anyway
We would just like to say if there is anybody out there tonight, uh, that we've offended in any way except for you dickhead
Well if there is anybody out here tonight that we've offended in any way
Uh, we feel like our efforts have been rewarded
Nah, no actually, seriously, if we did offend anybody, we'd like to take this opportunity to male up for it, uh, by doing something that will offend everybody else

[Verse 1]
I guess I must've learned that word
When I was just a child
But how the fuck would I know
It would drive my teachers wild
It just seemed so descriptive
When I read it off the wall
I shouted it in the classroom
And had to stand in the fuckin' hall

[Verse 2]
You know that I refined its use
When I was in the Navy
I learned to eat defensively
And say "Pass the fuckin' gravy"
They taught me how to fuck around
And live it up on leave
The ways I've learned to use that word
You wouldn't fuckin' believe
[Chorus]
Oh the universal adjective is
Fuckin' up my life
Fuckin' up my life (yeah)
Fuckin' up my life
I lost so many friends
I even lost my fuckin' wife
The universal adjective is
Fuckin' up my life

[Verse 3]
I was sittin' in a bar one night
All fucked up on tequila
My wife comes in all fuckin' mad
Says "I'll fuckin' see ya"
I really didn't understand
Just what the fuck she meant
Until she took me into court
And she took every fuckin' cent

[Chorus]
(Sing along)
Oh the universal adjective is
Fuckin' up my life
Fuckin' up my life (yeah)
Fuckin' up my life
I lost so many friends
I even lost my fuckin' wife (yeah)
The universal adjective is
Fuckin' up my life
[Outro]
Thank you Texas
Goodnight y'all
Take a beating