They just lost my travel voucher over at Finance
I just tried to fart, but instead I squirted my pants
The cops just car
Totaled in a ditch
And my hemorrhoids are back in town
And they're itching like a son of a bitch

But I'm not mad
It ain't all that bad
And at least
I can say
I'm not the snack-o
Yeah at least I'm not the snack-o

My mother came to visit
And she found my porno stash
Last week's make-out rendezvous is now a horrible rash
My brother's back in prison
My sister, she's a whore
And it probably wouldn't bother me
But her pimp, her pimp lives right next door

But I'm not sad
It ain't all that bad
'Cause at least
I can say
I'm not the snack-o
Yeah, yeah at least I'm not the snack-o
God help that miserable bastard!

But I'm not sad
'Cause it ain't all that bad
And at least
I can say
I'm not the snack-o
Yeah, yeah at least I'm not the snack-o

Yeah and I'm not scheduling either, thank god! Pay your fuckin' dues motherfuckers!

Yeah!