Yeah, I'd like to send this song out to our buddy Heat
We really hope this makes up for all the trouble

We wrote a song on our first CD
You may know it, it was "HLTC"
And now everyone thinks Heat is gay

We took his life, and we put it in a glass bowl
Everybody asks, "Is he an asshole?"
And we're here to say, "No! He's OK"

The lyrics ain't exactly Socrates or Plato
But they love this shit all over NATO
And the Europeans think that Heat is gay

They love to sing a song down in Australia
Thinkin' Heat loves the male genitalia
But we're here to say, "No! He's not gay"

You can hear this song in Africa while on safari
Woah, Heat! We're so fuckin' sorry
And now everyone thinks you are gay

We get asked a lot of questions; the one that we most hear:
"Well is he funny 'ha-ha'? Or is he funny queer?"
Well Heat is our buddy; let's make this crystal clear
There ain't a better dude, with whom to share a beer
He's from Chicago, a loyal Cubs fan
In my book that makes him a good man
And I'm here to say that he's not gay

We're not sayin' that it's either right or wrong
We don't wanna be judgmental; the whole point of the song
Is to just state the facts that Heat's not gay

Now my hasidic Jew friends, what would they say?
(I was just kidding! Heat's not gay!)
And old Chris Walken, what would he say?
(Guys, I gotta tell ya, the boy's not gay)

So there you go! It was just an inside joke
Let's just drop this whole thing and leave poor Heat alone

Yeah, but it was pretty fun while it lasted, right Heat?