Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well, you left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind
And, they're coming to take me away, ha, ha
They're coming to take me away, ho, ho, hee, hee, ha, ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha, ha

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right?
You know you laughed
I heard you laugh, you laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left but now you know I'm utterly mad
And, they're coming to take me away, ha, ha
They're coming to take me away, ho, ho, hee, hee, ha, ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha, ha

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house and this is how you pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds, huh?
Well, you just wait, they'll find you yet
And when they do, they'll put you in the A. S. P. C. A, you mangy mutt
And, they're coming to take me away, ha, ha
They're coming to take me away, ho, ho, hee, hee, ha, ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha, ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha, ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men...