[Verse]
Makes your hair full and thick (Say, that's quite a trick)
Makes you muscled and strong (More right than wrong)
Your math scores will soar (Brains galore)
It'll straighten your tie (My, oh my)
It'll improve your IQ (Better than 102?)
You'll be a real man (She's talking about me now)
Be more popular at parties (More unstupid smarties)
It'll clear up your pimples (Those are dimples)

[Chorus]
Wunderfizz is more than a soda
But no one really knows what Wunderfizz is

[Interlude]
Haha, wonderful Wunderfizz soda
Wunderfizz may cause anal fissures
Sexual side effects in men and women
May cause elephantiasis of the uvula
Do not operate heavy machinery or consume pork or dairy products immediately after consuming Wunderfizz
And if you're over 50, please consult your physician before enjoying the wonderful Wunderfizz family of sodas

[Chorus]
Wunderfizz is more than a soda
But no one really knows what Wunderfizz is
[Outro]
Wonderful Wunderfizz
It'll make you tinkle