[prod. by leroy anderson]

[intro: mr. master]
Tonight, the role of mr. master
Will be played by... you

[verse: mr. master]
Bolt off the block. Say it’s hot when you know it’s not
Slashdot flood ‘em with the rocket noz. Botch
What’s the kicker? I got ditzes doin’ busy work
My listener stays in stitches with no Stitcher
Let’s leave the general ed to the beginners
Hop right in this Robosaurus wreck
Re’d up on my rolodex. Guess
Took his time on me, di’n’t ‘e?
Got a big fat noggin to brick the hooplahin’
Undisputed champ o’ the
Off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway bracket
Don’t knock ‘til you try it
Oh you tried it? Okay knock it
It’s acquired via prior knowledge
If you lack it, knock it
If you got it, pick my pockеt
It’s your name with some ultra on it
How’s that for a Dow crash? Yip kay yay
One tweet a day keeps Jack Dorsеy... paid!
Enes Kanter how I blaze, or
How I diss Erdogan to his face
I like art pop. I make pop art bouillabaise
She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?
Please. Take the meat. Leave the mystery
All my livelong life, I had a glimmering
I thought I was hearing things
I... was, and still am!
Oh Kiernan! Your boyfriend needs disappearin’!
Oh hello there! You’re late!
For a very impartial online debate!
Never in all my days as a nerd have
So many songs been so misheard
Annotate an atlas-worth and
Still they want a flatter earth
Fast drawing. They slow as Cal Poly
Xophthal and dropsy. Ashkoshb'nazi
John Snow to Broad Street. Rap forum non conven
Wack? Ooh queen. I been waackin’ since ABDC
Look, I get it. I was a child once
I kept the kid inside, unlike you outer ones
I grew the goatee and grew into the GOAT, see?
You can have fun scrutinizing anything you wish!
Like math, or porn, or this!