[Intro: Spoken]
Honey, you'll hurt yourself!

[Verse 1]
I can't play tennis
My golf's a menace
I just can't do the Australian crawl
And I'm no better at volleyball
Ain't there anyone here for love, sweet love
Ain't there anyone here for love?

[Verse 2]
I'm apathetic
And non-athletic
Can't keep up in a marathon
I need some shoulder to lean upon
And a couple of arms to hold me
Ain't there anyone here for love?

[Bridge]
I'm not in condition to wrestle
I've never trained in a gym
Show me a man who can nestle
And I'll pin a meddle on him

[Verse 3]
Need some chappie
To make me happy
And he don't have to be Hercules
Don't anyone know about birds and bees?
Ain't there anyone here for love, sweet love
Ain't there anyone here for love?
[Interlude: Spoken]

Doubles, anyone?

Court's free!

Two out of three, anyone?

Doesn't anyone wanna play?

[Verse 4]
I like big muscles
And red corpuscles
I like a beautiful hunk o' man
But I'm no physical culture thing
Ain't there anyone here for love, sweet love

[Outro]
Ain't there anyone
Ain't there anyone
Ain't there anyone
Anyone
Anyone
Anyone
Here for love