[Verse 1]
I woke up around 8:45
Reached across to kiss my wife
But she wasn't there
I got a call right after breakfast
It was collect, from Houston, Texas
It said she was in jail
Better raise the bail

I said: "What the Hell are you doing there?
But we got cut off
Well, wouldn't you know?
So I jumped into my car
And I set off
Like she knew I would
The lady's up to no good

[Verse 2]
I had just come through St. Jo
When my car refused to go
You shoulda seen the smoke
I think the clutch was broke
A mechanic came up from Topeka
He was a wetback, said: "I don't spеak-a..."
"The native tongue" (...sеñor)
He didn't know what was wrong

So I ditched the car – and I rented
The oldest car
I've ever seen in my life
All my money, I spent it
Just to see my wife
I don't know why I should
The lady's up to no good
Up to no good!

[Chorus]
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(No good)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!

[Verse 3]
At last, I reached that Houston jail
An officious caucasian male
Handed me a note
This is what she wrote
"I'm so sorry I could not wait"
(Character voice:) "I remembered I had a date in Abilene..."
See what I mean?

So, if your woman says she needs you
'Cos she's in a fix
Take my advice
Hang up the phone and just leave her
Where she is
'Cos it's understood
The lady's up to no good
She's up to no good!
She's up to no good!

[Chorus]
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(She broke my heart – now she bust my car)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(Hell, I don't even know no-one in Abilene)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(Fort Worth, last time)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(That woman's treatin' me bad)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
She's up to no good!
(Oh, and with the price of gasoline...)
(She's gonna wipe me out, I'll say that, man)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
(I gotta get home, right?)
(And I gotta go to work, right?)
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
(And then I gotta wait for the phone to ring)
(Just to find out where she is, right?)
She's up to no good!
(Well, it ain't right! Why?! I've had enough!)

La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
(I can't go on like this)
La-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
(Goddamnit, she seemed really stuck)
She's up to no good!
(She really...)