Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity: Second Expansion
Black cards
After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on "More ________!"
Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with ________.
Before ________, all we had was ________.
Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out ________.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into ________.
Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for ________.
I spent my whole life working toward ________, only to have it ruined by ________.
I went from ________ to ________, all thanks to ________.
If God didn't want us to enjoy ________, he wouldn't have given us ________.
In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from ________.
Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and ________.
Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience ________.
My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of ________.
My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found ________.com/________.
My new favorite porn star is Joey "________" McGee.
Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ________.
Only two things in life are certain: death and ________.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ________, and acceptance.
The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of ________.
The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is ________.
This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ________.
This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing ________ into the bedroom."
Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about ________ could kill you.
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced ________ and ________ at the same time.
________ would be woefully incomplete without ________.
White cards
A 55-gallon drum of lube.
A Burmese tiger pit.
A bigger, blacker dick.
A dollop of sour cream.
A magic hippie love cloud.
A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
A pinata full of scorpions.
A sad fat dragon with no friends.
A slightly shittier parallel universe.
A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
A sweet spaceship.
All of this blood.
An army of skeletons.
An ether-soaked rag.
An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
Another shot of morphine.
Basic human decency.
Beefin' over turf.
Being awesome at sex.
Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
Bullshit.
Catastrophic urethral trauma.
Daddy's belt.
Death by Steven Seagal
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."
Double penetration.
Existing.
Fetal alcohol syndrome.
Finding Waldo.
Fuck Mountain.
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
Grandpa's ashes.
Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
Hillary Clinton's death stare.
Intimacy problems.
Jeff Goldblum.
Living in a trashcan.
Loki, the trickster god.
Making a friend.
Me.
Mild autism.
Mooing.
My first kill.
Nunchuck moves.
Oncoming traffic.
One Ring to rule them all.
Power.
Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.
Pumping out a baby every nine months.
Rising from the grave.
Scrotal frostbite.
Some really fucked-up shit.
Special musical guest, Cher.
Spring break!
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Survivor's guilt.
Swiftly achieving orgasm.
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
The Google.
The corporations.
The day the birds attacked.
The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
The human body.
The mere concept of Applebee's®.
The mixing of the races.
The new Radiohead album.
Tiny nipples.
Tongue.
Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.
Weapons-grade plutonium.
Wearing an octopus for a hat.
Whining like a little bitch.
Whipping a disobedient slave.