Black cards 2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for ________. Adventure. Romance. ________. From Paramount Pictures, "________." Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation ________. As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of ________. Do not fuck with me! I am literally ________ right now. Every step towards ________ gets me a little bit closer to ________. Forget everything you know about ________, because now we've supercharged it with ________! Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be ________, and I'll be ________. How am I compensating for my tiny penis? I am become ________, destroyer of ________! I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by ________. I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow ________ at the country club. If you can't handle ________, you'd better stay away from ________. In return for my soul, the Devil promised me ________ but all I got was ________. In the beginning there was ________. And the Lord said, "Let there be ________." It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from ________. Man, this is bullshit. Fuck ________. Oprah's book of the month is "________ For ________: A Story of Hope" She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for ________. The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of ________. This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of ________. This year's hottest album is "________" by ________. We never did find ________, but along the way we sure learned a lot about ________. Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with ________. What's fun until it gets weird? You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on ________, and then there's some stuff about ________, and then it ends with ________. You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon ________! ________ may pass, but ________ will last forever. ________ will never be the same after ________. White cards 10 Incredible Facts About the Anus. A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world. A Ugandan warlord. A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans. A dance move that's just sex. A fart. A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes. A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry. A hopeless amount of spiders. A horse with no legs. A kiss on the lips. A manhole. A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness. A sex goblin with a carnival penis. A shiny rock that proves I love you. Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. Africa. All the single ladies. Almost giving money to a homeless person. Ambiguous sarcasm. An interracial handshake. Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. Ass to mouth. Blackula. Bouncing up and down. Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality. Child Protective Services. Crazy opium eyes. Dem titties. Depression. Doo-doo. Drinking responsibly. Exploding pigeons. Falling into the toilet. Finally finishing off the Indians. Fucking a corpse back to life. Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis. How awesome I am. Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other. Interspecies marriage. Jizz. Khakis. Lots and lots of abortions. Moderate-to-severe joint pain. My dad's dumb fucking face. My sex dungeon. My worthless son. Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits. No clothes on, penis in vagina. Party Mexicans. Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. Sharks with legs. Smoking crack, for instance. Snorting coke off a clown's boner. Some sort of Asian. Sports. Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun. Sugar madness. The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East. The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter. The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China. The safe word. The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction. The size of my penis. The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real. Three consecutive seconds of happiness. Unquestioning obedience. What Jesus would do. Whatever a McRib® is made of. Whispering all sexy.