I saw you drift away I watched you go the wrong direction
I tried reaching out somewhere, but we lost connection
Loss of words but I finally got the courage
Been a mess and this depression really getting on my nerves
Guess it could be worse
Time to get my act together
I really hate that all the pain makes the rapping better
In a rut, what the fuck, spill my drink, spill my guts, I’ve been stuck, and its ugh what the fuck
They be looking at me crazy when they stare at me
I learned a guarantee ain’t even a guarantee
I lost my mind over the summer temporarily
They said it gets better apparently… yeah right
But I’m aight though I don’t need a pity party
I understand that you really sorry
But really sorry ain’t gonna really help so don’t get me started
I pour my heart and soul don’t compare me to any artist, that’s any artist
I’ve been down and out
I ain’t ever counted out
Thoughts spinning circles in my head like a roundabout
Upset cuz I wasn’t up next
Relationships ruined I’m obsessed with success
Got my Back against the wall
Back against it all
Haven’t heard from you in months I ain’t flattered that you called
Saying that I changed nah I naturally evolved
That’s some shit you’d understand if you were actually involved
Receiving criticism, a ton of it
Learning to juggle it
I miss doing shit for the fun of it
And I ain’t in denial but it’s hard to crack a smile
When the years feel like months and the bills start to pile
Momma still gone working minimum wage
Gotta do something quick I’m at a critical stage
But, I ain’t copping out
Not until my coffins out
Anyone who standing in the way I’ma chop em down
I’ma chop em down
Anyone who standing in the way I’ma chop em down
What’s the plan again, tell me what’s the plan again
I’m so numb it’s been hard for me to channel in
I’m feeling manic like everyone is a mannequin
And they don’t even blink while I’m panicking (deep breath)
I feel you boy I been through it
I’ve seen my house flood with alcohol and deeply get ruined
I’ve seen some shit I wouldn’t even tell a therapist
I remember being seven with my parents like cut it out that’s embarrassing
Like god damn how the fuck it get like this
Am I the only kid in class who really live like this
Couldn’t kill you to at least try
If I just smile, keep quiet then I’ll sneak by, Like nothing’s wrong
I watched the evils destroy us
When you the captain of the ship it’s all a part of the voyage
It’s like you gave your all and it’s still failure
I learned a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor
Cuz, even when it’s pouring I ain’t letting waves rock the boat
Pops came to America I’m blessed the man got off the boat
Promise I’ma blow while these motherfuckers talk the most
I don’t need help so don’t toss the rope
Really think it’s funny that dummies all advantaged
Act like opportunities ain’t ever gonna vanish
Living in a bubble
That’s asking for some trouble
Man I learned to eat the dirt and appreciate the struggle
I been going through the hustle since before I even knew what it meant
I wouldn’t change shit homie I would do it again
That’s the formula I figured out that’s proven to win
We take what Mother Nature gives and just move with the wind
And maintain course