[NARRATOR]
Once upon a time... In a faraway land, there was a magic kingdom that prospered through its commitment to two simple ideas: duty and devotion. The Two D's. For many years the kingdom stood as a shining beacon for artisans, craftsmen, and storytellers who all flocked to the land with a dream to uphold the sacred Two D's. Through their hard work, a glorious golden age came to the kingdom. Followed by a second - even greater than the first! Then... came the dark times. The kingdom came into the hands of an evil sultan, and through his negligence the kingdom fell to ruin. The happiest place on earth... became the crappiest place on earth. Despite the efforts of one man. A man with a dream. To restore the kingdom to its former glory and bring about the prophesized third golden age. A misunderstood man. This is his story - the untold story of a royal vizier!

[JAFAR]
I look around the kingdom
And see the desparation
And the devastation that persists
No matter what I do
But today could be the day
I finally make a difference
And all the grateful citizens will say to me

[CITIZENS]
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

[BAKER, spoken]
Fuck you, Jafar!

[JAFAR]
Good morning, baker!

[BAKER]
Where are you off to today, you no good piece of shit?
[PARROT]
Squawk! Piece of shit!

[BAKER]
What did you just call me, you bastard?

[JAFAR]
No, friend! I said nothing! That was my bird. He has the ability to repeat words that others have spoken

[BAKER]
Well, why don't you teach him these words, then? Fuck you, Jafar
Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up!

[CITIZENS, sung Alternating]
Why don't we have enough to eat?
Why are we dying in the street?
Why does my baby always cry?
Why did my mommy have to die?
Mine too
Mine too
Mine too, Mine too, Mine too!
The answer here is crystal clear
Jafar, that ugly old Vizier
He's the reason for our many woes

[GIRL 1]
Though we're upset, we shouldn't fret
We mustn't let ourselves forget
The saying every child raised within the kingdom knows
You've got to dream a little harder
When life won't go your way
Simply dream a little harder
Trust me when I say that when you
Dream a little harder
You're sure to follow through
'Cause if you're good and you're attractive
No need to be proactive
Good things will just happen to you!
[JAFAR, spoken]
I've come to return the book I borrowed!

[LIBRARIAN]
Oh, Jafar! It took you long enough, you shit-eating dog

[JAFAR]
I couldn't put it down! It's one of my favorites!
The story of a misunderstood witch who's really not wicked at all
She's just green! But she still gets blamed for all the kingdom's problems

[LIBRARIAN]
Oh, so you think you're better than me just 'cause you can read?
Well get out of my bookstore, we don't like your kind here anyway

[JAFAR]
But what about the book?

[LIBRARIAN]
Keep it. And may the rats ejaculate upon you

[JAFAR]
Thank you! Thank you very much!

[CITIZENS, sung Alternating]
Why is the kingdom plagued by theft?
Why are there no more good jobs left?
Why does the sun go down at night?
Why is everyone in the kingdom white?
Um... Jafar?
Jafar!
Jafar!
Jafar!
No man who's just
Could ever trust
A face that triggers such disgust
His twisted features give me such a chill
So let us pray that one fine day
That evil man will go away
'Cause if we want it bad enough he will!

For if you
Dream a little harder
You'll get what you desire
Dream a little harder
When things are looking dire
If you dream a little harder
Success is guaranteed
If you are sure of your intention
Some magic intervention
Will give you the edge that you need

[JAFAR, spoken]
Oh! Pardon me, madam

[BELLE]
Oh, that's alright. Just try to keep your fat face out of that motherfucking book

[JAFAR, sung]
I know that I'm no prize
I'm not so easy on the eyes
I can't rely on looks to get me by
But ugliness permits a man to use his wits
'Cause pretty people never have to try
I hear the people whisper as I walk about the streets
I know they call me-

[CITIZENS]
Ugly old Jafar!

[JAFAR]
What I call planning, they call scheming
What I call delusion, they call dreaming
Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?

[CITIZENS]
Wish a little stronger

[BELLE]
I need six eggs

JAFAR
Why not buy some?

[CITIZENS]
Hope a little bigger

[BAKER]
I want to fly

[JAFAR]
That's unrealistic

[CITIZENS]
Think a little louder

[LIBRARIAN]
I want to be a cat

[JAFAR]
What?

[LIBRARIAN]
Fuck you!

[CITIZENS]
Whistle while you swallow
A spoonful of sugar
And your dreams will come true upon a star

[SOLO CITIZEN]
Dream hard enough, my friend
Jafar will meet a violent end
He could be skewered by a sailing ship

[VARIOUS CITIZENS]
Or hanged in tangled jungle vines
Or eaten by hyenas
Or he'll plummet to his death from a castle
A clock

[ALL CITIZENS]
Or a cliff
And if we dream a little harder
Our patience and our ardor
Will rid us of that ugly old Jafar!
Fuck you!