[DARREN, spoken]
To kick the night off, to begin! I invite you to come back with me to late 2018, where Starkid's horror-comedy musical set in a tiny town called Hatchetfield, we meet a man whose worst nightmare comes to life with awesome songs by Team Starkid member Jeff Blim. Here is the cast of 'The Guy That Didn't Like Musicals.'

[ENSEMBLE]
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh

[JEFF & ENSEMBLE]
The greatest stories every told (ooh)
Have a hero who must be bold (ooh)
They learn a sense of right and wrong (ooh)
And better learn this sense through song (ooh)

[MARIAH & ENSEMBLE]
Musicals tell the impossible (impossible)
The emote the philosophical, yeah

[JON]
Tonight we're gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical!

[ALL]
The last remaining story to tell

[JEFF & ENSEMBLE]
The guy who didn't like musicals! (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
I mean what the what?! (didn't like did not like like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals, na na-na na-na-na na! (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na na-na na-na-na ha! (didn't like did not like like-a-like 'em)
And he definitely won't like this! Yeah! Yeah yeah yeah! (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals, na na-na na-na-na na! (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Yeah! (didn't like did not like like-a-like 'em)
[JAIME]
It is time...
To die!

Sorry to interrupt but we got bones to pluck
The time for chaos is long past overdue
Death isn't optional, in fact it's optimal

[JAIME & JEFF]
Your time is up and now we go through you (ooh)
We tried to convince you in soliloquy (ahh)
But now we'll kill you with more than harmony (harmony)

[JAMIE & JEFF]
Just die!
Join us and die
Join us and die
Join us and die
All you gotta do is...
Join us and die
Join us and die
Join us and die
All you gotta do is!

[ROBERT]
A... show stoppin' number
A real show stopper
A show stoppin' number come on
Something to shock 'em
To bring them a-crawlin'
A big time box-office draw
With the press and the glamour
We'll kill the reviews
Spotlight on Mr. Ingenue
So fill up your Tumblr
Got a show stoppin' number for you
A show stoppin' number
Is something you die for
A real catchy, ear-wormy tune
An award-winning score
That seeps in and out of your pours
A ditty to make the chorus girls swoon
It'll unify humanity
In a thundering chorus
No exits from this Broadway venue
So splash those shiny cymbals
Got a show stoppin' hymnal for you

Business calls, I'm up to *** in ****
What is this business?
Markets are crashing and I'm at the edge of my wits
I just can't take it
When all I want to do
Is spend the day with Steve and...

Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
I can't wait to get home to my boys!

A show stoppin' number
A real show stopper
An aria to rule them all
They'll throw us their money
At full price admission
The world will come crumblin' down
Hamilton move over
Your new competition's in town
[ROBERT, JEFF, COREY, JON & MARIAH]
Working boys, we're up to our ass in shit
What is this business?
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
Five o'clock can't come soon enough
I can't wait to get home to my boys!