[Verse 1]
Too crackified for n***as
Too black for the white folks
I'm insecure as hell
I never fuck with the lights on
I take three showers a day
Just to make sure I’m clean
I listen to a lot of weed rappers
I don't really smoke that much, imagine that
Ayo I talk to myself
I mean for real man I answer back and everything
Last year I asked myself for advice
Looked myself in the eye and said:
"Buy her a wedding ring"
But I never proposed
Got on one knee and froze
My lord I returned that ring
Got my money back and spent it all on clothes
I'm a closet hipster
Wannabe rapster with an unverified twitter
I never been to church on Sunday
Bet you I won’t ever miss another music Monday
I take pride in silly shit
My dad's dead I'm still waiting on the Christmas gift
Stuck in the past I need to relieve stress
So I guess, (ch-ch) I just killed my ex
My music girl (Music girl)
How you doin'?
"I'm good" (She's good!)
I never meant to make you cry
"Uhuh"
But all my dogs were after my doll
I'm lookin' for a place to escape tonight
"That’s nice"
A little left-wing went all the way right
A little something new for me to do
Because I slept through school
You know I lick that drew
Now everywhere I go I gotta [?] the news
Stretched out my hand now it’s great for food
And yeah, still chasin' my bare bottom dreams
Until death I’ll bump with these dope fiends
Sometimes I feel I signed with the wrong team
But everything ain't as low as it seems
'Cause I still got green
And I was digging in the trash last night
And found this crack pipe
And blew the bagpipes (wait wait)
I learned when life doesn't give you a hug
You can substitute love, with drugs
I know right? (what)
But enough about what I’ve become (hold on hold on)
How's your life?
Got a wife and a daughter and a son (wait a second)
Well that's cool (wait a second)
Any of them got a thing for bums?
You told 'em how I wasn't good enough to lick up your crumbs
(I didn't)
Yeah I been writing you these letters getting no response
(no no no wait)
And now my body's so cold I can't feel when I talk
And my thoughts are so jaded I feel guilty when I start
But I know what you're doin' and I see right through it
Clockin' your every movement I see it before you do it
And your daughter? She loves me
Now don't interrupt me
Isn't this great?
Her bedtime's at nine
The shack closes at three so now you got me
My friend needs some rest so now you got we
Do the Helen Keller: leave the talkin' to me
I love you girl, but the feelin's one sided
The side of me has faded
And I'm not ready for changes
Your child ain't ready for strangers
And it hurts me to say this but baby I can't stay
*distorted crying*
Now when this bullet hits your face
Just know that you'll appreciate this one day
Maybe not
I need these voices to stop
*distorted muffled wailing*

[Refrain]
Sit back and listen to the song that I'm singing
Fun times, bland times
Think that you'll die interesting
Get you addicted to the song that I'm singing
Fun times, bland times
Think that you'll die interesting
(Taxi!)

[Outro: Interview]
Alright man, that was a real real good, good album man. I got a few questions for for you fr- from your fans
What fans?
First question: do you hate white people?
Nah, nah man, I don't hate white people, their girls give good head
Hmm okay...Do you hate God?
Nah man, I don't hate God man. Shouts out to Jesus you know what I'm sayin'
Do you hate black people?
Uh, yeah kinda a little bit
Yeah me too
Alright last question: what do you think about Glenn Beck?
Glenn Beck? I'll show you what I think about Glenn Beck (oh oh)
You stupid mother fucker (Hold on, hold on) Come here, come here You piece of shit, yeah yeah, go on (*coughing and spluttering*) you stupid ass motherfucker (*choking*) dumb bitch die (*choking*)
Fuck Glenn Beck
*Both Laughing*
What the hell was that?
I don't know bruh
Let's go to Taco Bell
*Door closes*