[Verse 1]
I followed Artimus Pyle after a Lynyrd Skynyrd show
We ended up at a NAMBLA meeting
I knocked at the door and Artimus Pyle answered
I gave him pictures of your kid because I hate him

[Chorus]
I gave NAMBLA pictures of your kid
Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!
Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!
Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!
Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!

[Verse 2]
The next day there was a line at your door
Artimus Pyle was going back for seconds
Your kid had a lock of Artimus' beard in his ass
Your kid made Artimus' Saturday night special

[Chorus]
I gave NAMBLA pictures of your kid
Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!
Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!
Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!
Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!
[Outro]
Lynyrd Skynyrd used to be your favorite band
Until Artimus had your kid's dick in his hand