[Intro]
I seem to be the victim of a cruel jest
It dogs my footsteps with the girl I love the best
She's just the sweetest thing that I have ever known
But still, we never get the chance to be alone

[Verse 1]
My car will meet her
And her mother comes, too
It's a two-seater
Still, her mother comes, too
At Ciro's when I am free
At dinner, supper or tea
She loves to shimmy with me
And her mother does, too

[Verse 2]
We buy her trousseau
And her mother comes, too
Asked not to do so
Still, her mother comes, too
She simply can't take a snub
I go and sulk at the club
Then have a bath and a rub
And her brother comes, too
[Bridge]
There may be times when couples need a chaperone
But mothers ought to learn to leave a chap alone
I wish they'd have a heart and use their common sense
For three's a crowd, and more, it's treble the expense

[Verse 3]
We lunch at Maxim's
And her mother comes, too
How large a snack seems
When her mother comes, too
And when they're visiting me
We finish afternoon tea
She loves to sit on my knee
And her mother does, too

[Verse 4]
To golf we started
And her mother came, too
Three bags I carted
When her mother came, too
She fainted just off the tee
My darling whispered to me
"Jack, dear, at last we are free"
But her mother came to