(Verse)
I seem to be the victim of a cruel jest
It dogs my footsteps with the girl I love the best
She's just the sweetest thing that I have ever known
But still we never get the chance to be alone

(Chorus 1)
My car will meet her
And her mother comes, too
It's a two-seater
Still her mother comes, too

At Ciro's when I am free
At dinner, supper, or tea
She loves to shimmy with me
And her mother does, too

We buy her trousseau
And her mother comes, too
Asked not to do so
Still her mother comes, too

She simply can't take a snub
I go and sulk at the club
Then have a bath and a rub
And her brother comes, too
(Verse 2)
There may be times when couples need a chaperone
But mothers ought to leave a chap alone
I wish they'd have a heart and use their common sense
For three's a crowd, and more, it's treble the expense

(Chorus 2)
We lunch at Maxim's
And her mother comes, too
How large a snack seems
When her mother comes, too

And when they're visiting me
We finish afternoon tea
She loves to sit on my knee
And her mother does, too

To golf we started
And her mother came, too
Three bags I carted
When her mother came, too

She fainted just off the tee
My darling whispered to me
"Jack, dear, at last we are free!"
But her mother came to