[Prince Edward]
Good kings, bad kings
Sane kings or mad kings
Benevolent or nefarious
Here is where they bury us

Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know
There's a prearranged spot in the family plot
Where my royal bones will go
Yes, I'll be slipped into the beautiful family crypt
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know

That drunkard, young King Ferdinand
He reigned for half an hour
He got so soused when they crowned him
He fell from the castle tower

And here lies old King Frederick
He stole for forty years
The day he died the people cried
[John]
They cried?
[Prince Edward]
They cried three cheers

Oh ho he
What a comforting thing to see
The traditional stone that is all my own
Where my dying date will be
[John]
In peace you'll rest
Beneath the beautiful family crest
Oh ho he
What a comforting thing to see

And here lies brave King Rofar
[Prince Edward]
All the battles that he won
[John]
He lies in state, serene and great
[Prince Edward]
Still getting nothing done

[John]
What about King Lloyd?
[Prince Edward]
King Lloyd, King Lloyd

King Lloyd was lewd and lecherous
Evil, cruel, and treacherous
King Lloyd was mad and dreaded
Till the day he was beheaded

Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know
[Both]
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know

[Prince Edward]
But remember good King Phineous
Saintly, kind, and wise
He did nothing ignominious
Yet beside these noble brutes and knaves
And drunks and skunks he lies

[Both]
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know
There's a prearranged spot in the family plot
Where my (your) royal bones will go
Yes, I'll be slipped into the beautiful family crypt
Oh ho he
What a comforting thing for me (you) to see
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to
Oh ho ho
What a comforting thing to know