[Verse 1]
Mowing lawns, saving up for a guitar
When I was fifteen and long and lean
And just like that grass, boy, I was green
Delivering roses in Washington D.C
Going off to college so I had to save up
But delivering roses really sucks
Sweating all summer in a slimy tux
But at least I made a couple bucks

[Verse 2]
Freshman in college I was delivering pizza
But to deliver one pie was a half an hour round trip
And college kids, man, they don’t tip
So I quit and it was their loss
‘Cause I was the only driver not stealing from the boss
And siphoning gas from students cars

[Verse 3]
Metropolitan Museum at the telephone switchboard
When a caller would ask for Phillip de Montebello
I’d transfer to my apartment where an unsuspecting fellow
My roommate Stewart, so sound asleep
Would answer the phone when he heard the beep
Pretty quick they’d realize that he wasn’t Phillip