[Verse 1]
Hey Mac, you'll never guess what happened while you were away
What's been happening to you started happening to me
I found your old letters
Shoved inside High Tide and Green Grass
Last night
And I hope you don't mind
But I stole the opening line for a song of mine
And Mac, it's true
If I could write like you
Well I'm sure sometimes I'd go a little cuckoo, too

[Verse 2]
I know the winters are hard in Maine
And your songs about lobstermen
Well I know they don't pay
But it's hard down here, too
Trying to make a living writing about snakes and cockatoos
And it made me mad
When they used your song in that Volvo ad
And you barely got a dime
I said "Mac, it's not fair"
You said "Walt, I really don't care"
As you filled out your W-9

[Verse 3]
I know your Irish heart is strong
And rich with rhymes and noble lines from ancient songs
But again it comes undone
And the dumb rum just rots your gut and twists your tongue