[EVERYONE]
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy new year

[PHINEAS]
We wish you the best day ever
And hope all your Christmas endeavors
Are super-fun, amazing, and clever
And that your New Year's rocks, too

[ISABELLA]
Oh, come tell me what'cha doin'
All my relatives just Zoomed in
From Mexico and Jerusalem
For the holidays

[ISABELLA & BACKUP]
Both Christmas trees and menorahs
It can be confusing for us
When we break into a chorus
Of "olé" (¡Olé!)
And "oy vey" (¡Oy vey!)

[MONOGRAM]
Good missions I'll give
To Agents A through Z
Carl, get away from that punch bowl
I'm saving that for me
[CARL, spoken]
Sorry, sir...

[EVERYONE]
We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
And a…

*Platypus chatter*

[EVERYONE]
...new year!

[CANDACE]
This year seemed like it could not get worse
We fought against the whole universe
But good times with family were interspersed
Let’s see what else comes

[BALJEET]
I wish for a calculator-
Slash Hindi-English translator
To find a common denominator
In both of my tongues
[BUFORD]
Good wedgies I'll give
To all of you nerds
That's how I say "Merry Christmas"
I ain't good with words

[DOOFENSHMIRTZ]
I wish you would let me rule you
In evil, I'm going to school you
I won't sugarcoat or fool you
Your New Year's looks grim

[VANESSA]
He swears that his new -inator
Will force you to serve him later

[DOOFENSHMIRTZ]
So why not just choose to cater
To my every whim?

[EVERYONE]
We wish your every endeavor
Makes this the best Christmas ever
And we're all so glad that we have never
Mentioned COVID-19…
[FERB, spoken]
Well, except *now* we’ve mentioned it

[DOOFENSHMIRTZ, spoken]
Oh, great. Does this mean we’re gonna get demonetized?

[MONOGRAM, spoken]
We were never monetized in the first place. Just keep your mouth shut

[EVERYONE]
Ahh!!!

*Song ends*

[DOOFENSHMIRTZ, spoken]
Ahhh. Alright, well. That's the end. You can go home now. No, really, you don't need to continue listening
God I don't even sound like this character. I think it's all these lozenges I’ll be taking