[Intro: Frank Zappa]
Get on your feet and do the funky Alfonzo!

[Verse 1: Frank Zappa]
Father Vivian O'Blivion resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter for the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary, he forgot to watch the clock

[Chorus: Frank Zappa]
Cause the night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked it
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked (He stroked it)
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked his spot (Hе stroked his spot)

[Verse 2: Frank Zappa]
Which set him off in such a frenzy
Hе sang "Lock Around The Crock"
An' he topped it off with a—
An' he topped it off with a—
An' he topped it off with a—
Whoo-hoo-hoo
Whoo-hoo-hoo
Whoo-hoo-hoo
As he stumbled on his—
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right through his sock
[Bridge: Frank Zappa]
"Oh, Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me"
(He shouted down the block)

[Verse 3: Frank Zappa]
Ah, ha-ha
Dominus vobiscum et cum spiritu tuo
Don't you eat my sleazy pancakes just for Saintly Alfonzo
They're so light and fluffy white, we'll raise a fortune by tonight
They're so light and fluffy white, we'll raise a fortune by tonight
They're so light and fluffy brown, they're the finest in the town
They're so light and fluffy brown, they're the finest in the town

[Outro: Frank Zappa]
Good morning, Your Highness (ooh)
I brought you your snowshoes (ooh)
Good morning, Your Highness (ooh)
I brought you your snowshoes
(Bitchin', man)