ENSEMBLE: (singing)
We got de talkin' shoes!
We de MAMMY NUNS!

The 'talking shoes', are designed to open in the front like a clam when the trigger (located at the heel) is depressed, revealing day-glo painted mutant toe nails

THING-FISH:
(Dominose Vobiskmmmmm!)

ENSEMBLE:
We is important news!
We de MAMMY NUNS!

THING-FISH:
(Et cum spear a TU-TU, Ohhhhh!)

ENSEMBLE:
We destroy de blues!
We de MAMMY NUNS!

THING-FISH:
Sho' am, y'all!
(MAMMIES, step faw'd 'n express yo'sevs!)

The ENSEMBLE lifts their skirts, revealing customized lawn-jockeys with the out-stretched lantern-bearing arm positioned between their legs
Instead of a lantern, the hand of each jockey clutches a shower-head plumbing fixture

On cue, what appears to be piss sprinkles onto HARRY, RHONDA, and the other FIRST-NIGHTERS. Dry ice concealed beneath the target area gives the illusion of steam

The 'FIRST-NIGHTERS' panic and rush off, leaving HARRY & RHONDA, soaked and stunned

ENSEMBLE:
We sho can dance 'n sing!
We's a lot o' fun!

THING-FISH:
(D'ja get any on ya down dere?)

ENSEMBLE:
We's doin' everything!
We's a lot o' fun!

THING-FISH:
(How'd YOU like to use my nakkin'?)

ENSEMBLE:
We's doin' de buck 'n wing!
We's a lot o' fun!
We's offa de wall!

THING-FISH: (pointing to his skirt)
(Fo' those of you unfamiliar wit de' nakkin
Dis be de nakkin'!)
ENSEMBLE:
ON BROADWAY
IT'S A NEW DAY...

THING-FISH:
On Broadway, It's a New Day!
Dat's right! Dat's what I say!

ENSEMBLE:
WHEN WE SAY...

THING-FISH:
Oh yeah! You 'bout through wif my nakkin'?

ENSEMBLE:
"We is de ones dey be callin' de 'MAMMY NUNS'!"

THING-FISH:
We ugly as SIN!

ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
WE BE LOOKIN' GOOD
WIT DE NAKKIN' ON!

THING-FISH:
We gots a nasty grin-n-n-n-n!
ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
WE BE LOOKIN' GOOD
WIT DE NAKKIN' ON!

THING-FISH: (pointing to HARRY)
We sho' ain't ugly as him...

ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
LAWD LAWD LAWD
LAWD LAWD LAWD
LAWD LAWD LAWD
WE DE MAMMY NUNS!

THING-FISH:
Step right up, folks, 'n meet de 'MAMMY NUNS'! You two ugly white folks hafta excuse de SISTERS, as what dey put in de mash potatoes have rendered dem INCONTINENT! Anyhow, ovuh heahhhh, de scintillating SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON, and de delectable SISTER GHENGHIS-ADONIS-OSMOSIS... 'long wif SISTER POTATO-HEAD BOBBY BROWN, and de ever-popular SISTER ANNE de DEVINE ...an' howsabouta heart-warmin' welcome fo' SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA-TAPIOCA an' her unscrutable companium, SISTER OB'DEWLLA 'X'...an' I's yo host: de THING-FISH!

ENSEMBLE:
ON BROADWAY
IT'S A NEW DAY
WHEN WE SAY:
"We is de ones dey be callin' de
'MAMMY NUNS'!"

THING-FISH:
We is dressed to kill!

ENSEMBLE:
We be lookin' good!

THING-FISH:
We gives you quite a thrill!

ENSEMBLE:
We be dancin' good!
(Whom a ninny? Him? Him a ninny! Hah!
Whom a ninny? You'm a ninny! Haw!)
Wit de dancin' skill
Wit de nakkin' on, LAWD!

'MAMMY NUNS' pose & flex. THING-FISH, clutching OB'DEWLLA, assumes the 'Ed Sullivan' attitude, stage left