THE CURTAIN RISES
We see a small 'cabaret stage', with its own curtain and footlights. Seated around it are a group of conservatively dressed 'FIRST-NIGHTERS', fondling their PLAYBILLS. The back curtain is limbo black

HARRY, in a tux, and his wife, RHONDA, in a stylish suit with a fox collar, enter right and make their way toward two of the three empty seats in front of the 'cabaret stage'

The stage lights dim, as if the show were beginning. The guitar intro for the PRELUDE blasts out from a pre-recorded digital tape

The cabaret curtain rises. Seated on the stage we see THING-FISH, lecturing to a tiny potato-headed dummy named SISTER OB'DEWLLA 'X'

On either side of the cabaret stage, the characters and events described in THING-FISH'S narration appear, miming a reenactment of the text. We see THE EVIL PRINCE, a group of COUNTRY-WESTERN MUSICIANS, THE PRISON WARDEN, and the PRISON INMATES who will eventually become transformed

THING-FISH:
Once upon a time, musta been 'round October, few years back, in one o' dose TOP SECRET LAB-MOTORIES de gubbnint keep stashed away underneath Virginia, an EVIL PRINCE, occasion'ly employed as a part-time THEATRICAL CRITICIZER set to woikin' on a plot fo de systematic GENOCIDICAL REMOVE'LANCE of all unwanted highly-rhythmic individj'lls an' sissy-boys!

De cocksucker done whiffed up a secret POTIUM... an' right 'long wid it, de ATROCIOUS IDEA dat what he been boilin' up down deahhhh jes' mights be de FINAL SOLUTIUM to DE WHITE MAIN'S 'BOIDENNN', ef yo' acquire my drift...

Well, he were sure he had a GOOD THING GOIN'... but, dere was always de possobility dat somethin' might fuck up, so, he planned to have a little test, jes' to check it all out befo' he dump't it in de wattuh supply

Sho'tly denafter, wit HIGH-LEVEL GUBNINT CO-ROBBERATIUM, he arranged to have a good-will visit to SAN QUENTIM, 'long wit some country-westin mu- zishnin's, 'n sprinkle a little bit of it on some of de boys in deahhh (since dey done used a few of 'em befo' when dey was messin' wit de ZYPH'LISS)

So, heah dey come wit de POTIUM, dump'nit all in de mash potatoes!

Den dey wen' up to de warden's office fo' some HOT TODDY, watchin' a little football while dey's waitin' to see what gone happen!

Fact o' de matter were: NOTHIN' HAPPENED, so dey went off'n dribbled it in a special shipnint of GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH dat went out 'bouts NOVEMBER!
Next thing y'know, fagnits be droppin' off like flies...'long wit a large number of severely-tanned individj'lls, pre-zumnably of HAY'CHEN EXTRAKMENT!

The dancers representing the convicts used for testing disappear behind the cabaret stage

But NOT DE BOYS IN DE REST HOME! Oh no! Mixin' de shit wit de mash potatoes done SMOOTHED IT OUT a little, so's it wouldn't KILL yo' ass, BUT, it sho' would make y'ugly! 'N ef y'was already UGLY, it'd make yo ass MEAN 'n UGLY...'n ef you was already MEAN 'n UGLY, it'd turn ya into a strange, UNKNOWN KREETCHUH, never befo' seen on BROADWAY! Thass right! It'd turn ya' into a 'MAMMY NUN'! Head like a potato...lips like a duck...big ol' hands, puffin' up! BIG ONES! Science! ME-jev'l re-LIJ-mus costumery all over yo' BODY! Yow! Oh yeah! Mmmm-hmmm!

THING-FISH is joined on stage by the other 'MAMMY NUNS':
SISTER ANNE de DEVINE
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON
SISTER POTATO-HEAD BOBBY BROWN
SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA-TAPIOCA
SISTER GHENGIS-ADONIS-OSMOSIS.

They appear wearing giant potato-head masks with human eyes set in randomly. The lower part of the mask is a custom-molded flexible duck-bill prosthesis. Their hands are Jolson-style white-gloved monstrosities

The 'MAMMY-NUN' costumes resemble the habits of some unknown order from the neck to the waist, with skirts patterned after the blue & white checkered napkin material favored by the lady on the 'Aunt Jemima' Pancake Box. These are worn by very large, evil-looking male dancers