[Verse 1: Joe]
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn (Du miserabler Hurensohn)
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
Streck ihn aus, streck aus deinem heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus, streck aus deinem heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus, streck aus deinem heißen gelockten Schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!

[Verse 2: Joe]
Mach es sehr schnell, rein und raus (Magisches Schwein!)
Mach es sehr schnell, rein und raus (Magisches Schwein!)
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, feuer!

[Refrain: Joe]
Aber beklecker nicht das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das sofa, sofa!

[Lyric Note 1]
Stunned by Joe's command of its native tongue, a gleaming model XQJ-37 nuclear powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker named Sy Borg, previously thought to be the son of the lady who called the police on cut two, side I, spindles over to Joe and says

[Bridge: Sy Borg and Joe]
Pick me, I'm clean
I am also programmed for conversational English
May I have this dance?
I've got a better idea
[Verse 3: Joe]
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch (You ugly son of a bitch)
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
Stick it out, stick out your hot curly weenie
Stick it out, stick out your hot curly weenie
Stick it out, stick out your hot curly weenie
Stick it out, stick out your hot curly weenie
Weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie!

[Verse 4; Joe & Sy Borg]
Make it go fast, in and out, in and out (Magical Pig!)
Make it go fast, in and out, in and out (Magical Pig!)
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), fire
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), fire

[Refrain: Joe]
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

[Lyric Note 2]
Whereupon, in order to prove to Joe that he is no ordinary Appliance, Sy quotes a few lines of traditional American Love Poetry
[Bridge: Sy Borg]
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?
Do you come here often?
Wait a minute, I've got it
You're an Italian, what? You're Jewish?
Love your nails, you must be a Libra
Your place or mine? Your place or mine?
Your place or mine? Your place or mine?
Your place or mine? Your place or mine?
See the chrome, feel the chrome
Touch the chrome, heal the chrome
See the screaming, hot black steaming
Iridescent Naugahyde python screaming steam roller!

[Outro: Central Scrutinizer]
This is the Central Scrutinizer...
Joe and his date are going back to the apartment
To have a little party