[Intro]
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

[Verse 1]
He was the Playboy Type, he smoked a pipe
His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"
He had an Irish Setter
(Arf!)

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight
(Run-dun-dun-dun)
His teeth were white
(Roo-klee-oo-EEE)
The shorts were striped
It was Ladies Nite
He was glad that he met her

He was an office boy (His name was Betty)
Her fav'rite group was (TWISTED SISTER)
They discussed the weather (OHHH)
[Chorus]
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

[Verse 2]
She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey in the winter
([?] HE SCORES!)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a SHMUCK had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her (Get it honey? Get it honey?)

Later on he went off to where the music was soft
The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippie
Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room
Well it seemed to be getting thinner
[Chorus]
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

[Bridge]
He took her home to a motor court
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it
But it made him angry!
(GRRR!OHH!)

He called her a pig
(Pig pig pig . . . )
A slut
(Slut slut slut . . . )
And a whore
(Whore whore whore . . . )
A bitch
(Bitch bitch bitch . . . )
And a republican
(Republican republican republican . . . )
And she slammed the door
(The door!)
In a petulant frenzy!
(A petulant frenzy!
This is a petulant frenzy!
Oh!
I'm petulant
And I'm having a frenzy!)
[Verse 3]
On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she peeps
Through the curtain

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he has to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the sound of Long Island

[Chorus]
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!
Baby don't you want a man sometimes?