DAD:
There are Jews in the world
There are Buddhists
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammad, but
I've never been one of them

I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six-footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came

Because

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God gets quite irate
PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's:
MOURNER #1:
Mine...
MOURNER #2:
And mine...
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUNS:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain
EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate