[Instrumental]

[Recording]
Testing... one, two, three
Well... well fuck, haha
I mean, I just don't know what to say
I'm very glad to be here with you tonight
I'll be able to talk to you about some things...
That I know a great deal about
Everyone knows that you are fucked up
And everyone knows that I am fucked up
But, does everyone know
That you are more fucked up than me?
Well, I know that
And you know that
But our purpose is to tell everyone that
Take for instance the time
You went to the bathroom, to take a shower
You had soap, you had a towel, shampoo, washcloth, a brush
Everything was set
But you had to call me to come turn on the water for you
You didn't know where or how
That is one instance of how fucked up you are
A second instance of how fucked up you are:
You was going to cook you some breakfast
Well you went in there
And you put some toast in the toaster
Put a skillet on the stove, some grease in it
You got you some eggs out, some bacon
Poured you some orange juice and made you some coffee
Got some jelly and some butter, fried eggs, salt
Pepper, got the bacon on the grill...
Everything was fine -- except for one thing
You had to call me in there... to show you how to use a fork
Now a third instance, the way you're fucked up:
You got dressed, ready to go to school
Everything was fine. Went outside, got in your car
Key in the ignition
Except for one thing
You had to call me to come show you...