Ladies and gentlemen...Allan Sherman!

Hello mudduh, hello fadduh
Here I am with John Ascuaga
I just work here, he's the boss here
I'm already operating at a loss here

All the dealers are nice chaps here
But the dice are full of craps here
They're got style here, they've got class here
And if you're not careful you can lose your chips here

Hey, thank you very much, you're beautiful
Thank you

I am extremely glad to be here tonight
Now I know that a lot of performers come out on the stage, and they say, "I'm extremely glad to be here tonight," and they don't really sincerely mean it. But I flew into town on Bonanza Airlines...and I'm extremely glad to BE here

I would like to sing you a number of thrilling songs which I composed

There's one song in my act that I do that I did not compose
It was written for me by Elizabeth Taylor
This is by Elizabeth Taylor

Love is lovelier
The seventh time around...
It's just a short song; she doesn't have time to sit and write long songs