Allan Sherman
Calculatus Eliminatis
[CAT IN THE HAT]
When you've mislaid a certain something
Keep your cool and don't get hot
Calculatus Eliminatis
Is the best friend that you got
Calculatus Eliminatis
Always helps an awful lot
The way to find a missing something
Is to find out where it's not

It isn't there, I'll mark this X, I'll mark that Y
It isn't underneath the apple, "H", "K", "I"

[CONRAD,spoken]
It isn't under this keyhole

[CAT IN THE HAT]
No?

[SALLY,spoken]
And it isn't on my knee

[CAT IN THE HAT, spoken]
Hmm, mark the keyhole "K-300" and the knee "5-7B"

[CAT IN THE HAT, sung]
We just jot down all the places
Where it isn't, and gee whiz
Very shortly we will locate where the
Missing object is
[CONRAD,spoken]
It isn't here

[CAT IN THE HAT,spoken]
"8-42J"

[SALLY,spoken]
And it isn't there

[CAT IN THE HAT,spoken]
"F-607." You can mark the piano "22,000-decimal point-11"

[SALLY,spoken]
It isn't in the icebox

[CAT IN THE HAT,spoken]
That's strange

[CONRAD,spoken]
It's not on this TV

[CAT IN THE HAT,spoken]
Off. Icebox "O-two-four and a half", TV "One million and three"

When you've mislaid a certain something
Keep your cool and don't go to pot
Calculatus Eliminatis
Is the best friend that you got
Calculatus Eliminatis
Always helps an awful lot
The way to find a missing something
Is to find out where it's not