The modern family
Has time to burn
We all take lessons
We try to learn
The latest new thing's
We never do things
We just take lessons

My daughter Linda
She takes ballet
Her first recital
Was yesterday
She dropped her tutu
And her left shoe too
She needs more lessons

Then there's my daughter Dottie
She takes guitar, that's true
Junior, he takes karate
Smashed her guitar in two

For all these lessons
I have to pay
I must raise money
I found a way
Read my brochure folks
Learn how to be poor folks
I'm giving lessons
Our brand new puppy
His name is spot
He's being house-trained
Our rug is shot
Our very best room
Became his restroom
What good are lessons?

Tom studies driving
He took a ride
He saw two buses
Side by side
He must have seen them
He drove between them
Does anybody wanna buy a long thin Mustang?

My wife takes cooking lessons
So help me, she flunked poached egg
I took one skiing lesson
You're wrong folks - I broke my arm

I called the doctor
In great despair
But it was Wednesday
He's never there
He's on the links, folks
His putting stinks, folks
He's taking lessons