Chris Webby
I Am Rapaport Freestyle
My DNA litty, frame skinny and brain witty
With weed in my genes, my mom's a straight hippie
Keep a tight circle of does that I bring with me
East side, rocking timberland boots and we bang biggy
You dig me, pulling up while puffing a sticky
With a bird, like I got some snuffleupagus in me
Getting faded every single time I come to your city
I'll be up at the local bar like Always Sunny in Philly
Keep it 150, yeah
No Little Dicky, bitch I'm medium sized
Doing whatever is needed for my piece of the pie
Jacked up on so many damn amphetamines that I believe I can fly
Brain and pinky with the scheme I devise
Disobedient mind, making Gs on the grind
Webby make your head nod, put your seat in recline
With that throwback steeze, like somebody learned to freeze it in time
Prince of Persia with the meanest of rhymes
An emcee in his prime, you feel me?
What you see though, the great bambino
Knock it out the park with an adulterated premo
Marlo Stanfield, got that work for the fiends
And I'm racking up streams making Spotify c-notes
My fam is so Italian, my uncle was Vito
Corleone, shit you could ask my cousin Pacino
Apice up in casino, we toast a cup of tha vino
Cause' see, use guineas go back like Barney Rubble and Dino
(Yeah me, yo, yo)
You don't really wanna see these lyrics in action
They only talk about me quiet cause' they fear my reaction
And on the mic, actual fire appears when I'm rapping
Its no coincidence I was born in the Year of the Dragon
1988, see, a veteran millenial
With ADHD, and the headiest of medical
Respect me as the general, or I'm cracking your skeletal
And smash your ventricles with the force of the Kraken's tentacles
I hope you're flexible
Been doubted by every board and panel and record, executive taste maker and blog writer who saw my channel
So now I put 'em on blast, I'm under Stormy Daniels
Roman candle, I'm that firecracker flying off the handle
Tony Soprano, boss of the bosses
Stacking up that money 'till I got the corner office
Stacking all this, fatten wallets
Take my piece then I'm giving Trump to some environmental causes
And save the dolphins
They think I'm illustrated rocking a tank top
Tats looking like I'm getting sponsored by Gamestop
Super Mario, I keep that fireball flame hot
Sewer drain hot, from Peach Castle to Bangkok
Let the bass not, too rhymey to fight it
Getting faded from the second that my fire's ignited
And I'll still be showing up even if I ain't invited
Shit you gon' have to drag me off like I was flying United
'Cause I'm that legend of the hidden temple
I spit it mental on an instrumental
Do it for the culture, fuck if I'm gonna win a medal
Better get a Grammy, I'ma never find that shit essential
I'm just here to watch these rappers sweating when I grip a pencil
Influential as I'm serving rap caviar, ya know
Having bars, spitting flows, fucking rapping hard
And Lil Xan looks like a lesbian muppet
But since I'm cutting back on drugs, I'ma only give him half a bar
2Pac is not boring, XXL just keeps making lists
Where the Freshmen are otherwise, I ain't been on shit
I've been waiting for a lot of years to say this, so here we go
XXL, suck my dick
Godamn, that felt good, I just had to mention it
I know that written print is in decline, they ain't selling shit
And now they're barely grasping onto any shred of relevance
But, their fall from grace is something I'd love to help them with
This shit is effortless
I'll never let them take my passion from me
Even here and now and finally I'm stacking money
'Cause it's still the same Webby, I ain't acting funny
I'm still out here writing chapters in "How to Rap for Dummies"
'Cause I'm here to talk shit about the whole damn globe, bitch
Put 'em in a common choke grip
If you can't see that I'm the truth then I'ma change your focus
It's Wednesday, so put the whole game on notice
(I Am Rapaport Podcast, bitch!)