Benjamin Franklin

Franklin fathered bastards fourteen,

(So I read in the New Yorker);

If it's true, in terms of courtin'

Benny must have been a corker.

To be prudent I've aspired,

And my passions I have mastered;

So that I have never sired

A single bastard.



One of course can never know;

But I think that if I had

It would give me quite a glow

When a kiddie called me 'Dad.'

Watching toddlers at their play,

Parentage I'd gladly claim,

But their mothers smiling say:

'You're not to blame.'



Ben founded the Satevepost,

And for that I much respect him;

But fourteen is quite a host

Paternally to elect him.

'Fatherhood is not a crime,'

Deemed fat Ben, 'there could be others . . .

Darlings, I had not the time

To wed your mothers.'