[Verse 1]
Well, I got your little secret—no, I will not tell
You're trying to sober up in the highway motel
And my hands are covered with your smell
You begged me to stay and sing you a song
I dance dirty for you 'cause it turns you on
And I'm a little bleeder with white pants on

[Chorus]
And if you weren't so old, I would probably keep you
If you weren't so old, I'd tell my friends
But I don't think your wife would like my friends

[Verse 2]
And I've got a hit for every day of the week
I gave you something of mine that was sweet
And I've been holding onto it since I was sixteen
So you call me Danny and I call you Mabel
You passed out so I flipped through cable
And I stole your gold watch off the bedside table

[Chorus]
And if you weren't so old, I would keep you
If you weren't so old, I'd tell my friends
But I don't think your wife would like my friends