I feel peculiar
The caffeine and aspirin's gone and got to my head
I'd gotten used to bombs going off outside
While I stayed in bed

It's not a numb thing that makes me pale and scared
Sick and dumb and drained
I got the blues 'cause Cherry Coke is back
And she's here to stay

She said in tones dull and murmuring
You will doubt as you've known suffering

A week of walking tore my heart in tatters
And boots to shreds
I sent a gaggle of men and a shrew of kids
To bring back your head
On a plate, preferably made up nice
On a bed of bread

Your low blood sugar mooned me from afar
In the back of your father's first
Your brother's worst
And your mother's last car

I might have known I'd grown out of romance
When you stole my bride
And the editorial homophobic critic
Took my side

The day salmonella voted conservative
And the eggs got scared
They started a movement in Dublin
And spread and fragmented until they disappeared

Into the mainstream
Along with Bono
We've achieved a lot but what exactly, I can't tell you
'Cause I don't know

The day I lost my job to a terrorist act
It became one world
But I stay abreast in order only to get
My erotic way with girls

She said "I don't know people who are good to know"
So, I stay behind the teacher for repose

I found relief in a Montreal woman I know
She don't own no gun
She was cool to me, cordially
I had a good time but not much fun

I hear a Casio Casanova tune
In the distance play
And I know I'll rise again
To seize and relieve you of the day

Nursing sucks the ugly Matt Damon now
Your purse and such things sold me out for a pound of flesh
I wish things were different
Now

In front of the match
With a Singapore sling
I'm in love with her and feeling fine
I'm gonna get you back for that lesbian thing, Caroline