Willam
Penis in the Ladies Room
[Introduction: Jackie Beat]
I'm at the local shopping mall
Looking for Back To School bargains for my kids
I'm losing my shit over a sale rack in Chico's
When my youngest starts losing his shit
Literally
And I am much, much unhappy about that
I have to find myself a public restroom
Before he has a BM
A bowel movement
And when we go inside
Things get scandalous

[Chorus: Jackie Beat]
Cause there's a penis in the ladies' room
I'll be back real soon
I'm gonna go and get security
And force that thing to show ID

[Verse 1: Jackie Beat]
I'm not sure but I think that she was born a man
(I'm pretty sure that's a man!)
Cause she's a tall drink of water
And she's got big, manly hands
(Just take a look at those hands!)
She's got a really strong jaw
And a prominent nose
(That's a big honkin' nose!)
And I think I see some leg hair
Through those cheap pantyhose
Oh my

[Chorus: Jackie Beat]
Now there's a tranny in the ladies' room
A left-wing Looney Toon
They're always leaving up the toilet lids
And molesting little kids
SICK! N-no, N-n-no
It's none of my business
But it's SICK! N-no, N-n-no

[Verse 2: Willam]
Right next door you'll find the opposite
(The total opposite!)
A woman dressed like a dude
Try'na take a shit
(Takin' a big ole' shit!)
She may look like a fella
But he has got a vagina
(I'm fuckin' freakin' out!)
That may fly in California
But not in North Carolina
Huhhh, huhhh, huh

[Chorus: Willam]
There's a vajayjay in the mens' room
On a toilet goin' boom boom!
The Bible tells me I shouldn't judge
But I'm an asshole who won't budge
SICK! N-no, N-n-no
It's none of my business
But it's SICK! N-no, N-n-no
I'm voting Donald Trump!

[Verse 3: Jackie Beat]
Walked through the door
And I saw Caitlyn Jenner
Looked my way as she leaned
Against the tampon machine
She asked "Do you have a quarter?"
"It is my time of the month"
I threw a handful of pennies
And screamed "You don't have a cunt!"
(Watch out, watch out, watch out!)
If you're a tranny and you have to pee
I don't really fuckin' care
You can plainly see
Live and let live, it's a free country
But when I said that I meant normal people I mean

[Chorus: Willam]
There's a tranny in the ladies' room
It's got a peen instead of poon
The only man I trust in the least
With my son is a Catholic priest
Abomination in the ladies' room
Serving banana and Fruit of the Looms
I know that Jesus doesn't make mistakes
And he don't like skirt steaks

[Spoken: Jackie Beat]
No trannies
I don't mean to be rude
No. He-shes
Cause I'm not in the mood

[Chorus: Jackie Beat]
Candis Cayne is in the ladies' room
Dancing to a show tune
And now the baby changing table's broke
That's where the trannies sit and do their coke
If you're a tranny, better run and hide
Cause like a dog, you can poop outside
Out!