[Verse 1]
I wrote down adjectives and nouns
Scribbled words and verbs
And then shopped it around
Sold it for sixty more thousand bucks than I have
(What, like writing a book is hard?)
And when you read it you will agree that it will lead you down
A path so bad
This game show fad
Balls out, no double entendre
(I know Entendre, she a bitch)

[Pre-Chorus]
I might just spill some tea
About this dude who's on tv
(I have no clue who you're talking about)
This producer's dick is huge
And I know because I tasted his splooge

[Chorus]
You tried to make me behave
You shooshed and shushed all the fun away
But fuck you I'm not a Ru-girl who's some cliché
In here, I'll make it clear
Why I'm a superstar who will go far
On my own
Suck my bone as I walk away
[Hook]
Oh, read her
Oh, read all this alphanumerically
Oh, read her
Oh, your mess sucks less each and every page

[Verse 2]
You read here for some makeup tips
And I won't omit how to pop your zits
Your fucked mug looks better with my book held right here
I'll show you how you can steal a man
Or cheat on exams and then pull some scams
You need three D's to fill up your life
(Dick, drag, drugs)

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm just like Wikileaks
But my dick's up in my ass cheeks
Oh, and B-T-W
You want to tuck? That's in chapter two
(It's actually chapter 17)

[Chorus]
If some bitch tries to step to you
Use your RBF as a countermove
An RBF is conveniently defined back in the back of the book With all the words and what they mean
Counter attack with my paperback
Really beat that ass
But leave good feedback, please
On Amazon for the trahnz that wrote all this shit
In this god damn fucking book
[Hook]
Read her
Oh, read all this alphanumerically
Oh, read her
Oh, your mess sucks less each and every page

[Outro]
(Wanna come on my tits?)
Read her...
Read her...
Read her...
Read her...
(Alright, cool)