To understand what I'm about to say, believe in the impossible
A nerdy little slugger becomes speedy and unstoppable
Overcomes a trauma that's so visceral and sad, man
It's like a melodrama just got physical with Batman

Only difference is the dad's alive in prison
Framed for a murder that a yellow blur committed
Barry's taken in by Joe, one of CCPD's finest
And his finer daughter Iris, Barry loves her
UNREQUITED

Crazy storm from the particle accelerator
Barry struck by lightning, and awakens nine months later
At a quaint and quirky lab where they locked the front doors
Run by young, hot nerds (it's CW, of course)

Wells, Cait and Cisco each a special kinda genius
Building miracles of science mainly just out of convenience
There you have it, S.T.A.R. Labs doing science with discretion
As we continue on, you may have a couple questions

Will Barry find his inner strength as superheroes do?
Will Barry find and kill the man who's in the yellow suit?
Will Barry finally say that he loves Iris? I don't know
I guess we'll have to find out over 22 more episodes

[Chorus]
An ordinary guy
Forensic like CSI
And he's the fastest man alive
(That's Barry Allen)
Runs so fast impossibly
No one else has got the speed
(That's why they call him the...)

Flash is not the only one affected by the tempest
Man, the quantity of metas in this radius is endless
Made of vapor, electricity, and telepathic mammals
While some are simply psychos, more specifically Mark Hamill

Central City's in a ton of shit on a weekly basis
Which doesn't seem like fun (it is when Cisco gets to name it)
You got Weather Wizard, Captain Cold, Heat Wave
(I want to try Rainbow Raider!) Really, dude? (Well, I kinda like it)

Not everyone turned evil though, some simply changed
Ronnie here got fire hands and Victor Garber's brain
He's a troubled metahuman and his life is full of sorrow
I could delve a little deeper, but I'll save it for tomorrow

Now it ain't all superhero things and scientific gibberish
It's real human stories about family and relationships
Barry making new friends, going out on dates
While secretly he's crushing on his own adopted sister (Wait)

But his main objective is the yellow suited villain
They race a couple times and my God he almost kills him
But with the help of Wells they can beat him, shouldn't be that hard
But Wells is from the future and his real name is
Eobard Thawne

Barry's opposite, an evil speed demon
AKA Reverse-Flash
Where's Cisco when you need him?
Iris is around but she's mostly cavorting
With some hot cop, Eddie Thawne (Wow, that's important!)

Barry gets a chance, to rewrite his family's history
Which could result in death (*gasp*) or a singularity
But he chooses not to do it and sees his mother die
(What, I'm not crying, I've got sadness in my eye)

Barry fights with Thawne but he needs a quick assist
So Eddie kills himself, and Thawne ceases to exist
Singularity tornado certain death is even closer
Barry gets up in it, then- (Ah, season's over)

Will we find out where and when that silver helmet came from?
Will the Barry/Iris thing ironically bang on the same drum?
Will we see more crossovers across the CW?
All of this and more, as we time-jump to Season 2

[Chorus]
An ordinary guy
Forensic like CSI
And he's the fastest man alive
(That's Barry Allen)
Once he has impossibly
Super-advanced technology
(Then he can become the...)

Flash saved the day, but at Firestorm's expense
All the citizens are grateful only Caitlin is depressed
But Jay Garrick, from another world, is here to join the lot
Although no one wants to trust him, Caitlin helps him cause he's hawt

Putting differences aside, there's a bigger threat to fight with
Causing crises on 2 Earths, you could call it 2 Earth Crisis
Simultaneous realities in parallel places
Where their statuses are different but they have the same faces

Jazzy Joe, scaredy Barry, Cait shooting ice
Cisco has his powers but he gives off douchey vibes
There's a parallel Wells, who is different from the rest
Cause he's basically the same, so it's like he never left

While jumping 'cross dimensions they're still rescuing the city
From a talking roided shark and anti-holiday committee
There's a whole string of eps crossing Flash and Arrow's worlds
Though you'd prolly get less drama crossing Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls (Burn!)

But in spite of this, A DARKER PRESENCE LOOMS
Dimension hopping villain that is aptly known as ZOOM
So obviously evil with that voice and suit of gray
He's a murderer, a monster and- holy shit, it's Jay (Zoom)


Back at S.T.A.R. Labs, there is love inside the buildin'
Wells and West and Allen all have family reunions
For the time bein' all is well and nothing's bad
Til Zoom comes in the room and straight up murders Barry's dad

Time for the finale, a race should be enough
And Barry wins because... time travel stuff
Everybody's safe, free the prisoner in the mask
It's an old timey Flash with the face of Barry's dad

Sending Barry in a spin just as he was gettin' better
He and Iris talk about it but they still don't get together
Barry runs back in time, stops Thawne, saves his mother
It's a Flashpoint paradox: new timeline, motherf******!