I have had a great time here in San Francisco. It's been very fun.
I, uh... I have a lot of drag queens in my neighborhood in New York, so I felt right at home when I was here. It's very cool.
I have lots of drag queens around and I like to study them—and I mean, more of your high-end type of drag queens, not like your tenderloin drag queens. Who, I'm sorry, aren't even fucking trying. Like a lot of them just have a mop on their head and a skirt and are like, "I'm a gal!" You're not a gal. You're not a gal.

Really fancy drag queens are funny though, 'cause like a lot of drag queens, it's like they're under the impression that they're like, a celebrity. It's like they all have this attitude of like, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Strawberry Alarm Clock." It's like, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you. It's just I don't hang out in the one bar where you get free drinks."

I wanna say this though, I think it's fine if someone wants to be a drag queen, that's great, if you wanna like, express your inner woman. But why, with so many drag queens, is it always the same type of woman? Like, why is it always like, a big and brassy woman? With like, a beehive hairdo and alligator skin shoes? It's like, what is your notion of a woman based on? A housewife in a Far Side cartoon? Why is that what you think femininity is?

And then, some of these drag queens, they'll go out on the street, and they'll bully me. They will. They'll be like, "Oh-hoh, look at him and his little shirt." It's like, why are you mean? Why is that part of it for you? And it's not little, it's a medium. Small is little. You went through all the trouble to put on a nice dress, and now you're gonna be rude and bossy to people? It's like, do you know what your version of a lady is a lot like? A guy. You could've stayed a guy if you were gonna be an asshole about it.

As I said, I uh, I don't quite get it. I also have that same issue with goth people. I've never understood being goth, you know. I could never do that. I could never dress goth, and don't get me wrong; I'm unhappy. It's not that. It's just that if you're a goth person, every single day you have to put on like, new makeup, and nail polish, and Satan stars. Like I bet you part of the reason goths are so miserable is they wake up every morning and think, "Oh god, I gotta put all that shit back on. Why did I join?"