Gurpage Productions
You’re A Wizard, Harry
[Hagrid]
You're a wizard Harry.
[Harry]
I'm a... WHAT?!
[Hagrid]
Harry, you're a wizard.
[Harry]
I'm a what?!
[Hagrid]
A wizard, Harry.
[Harry]
I'm a WIZARD?!
[Hagrid]
Yes Harry, you're a wizard.
[Harry]
But I'm just Harry.
[Hagrid]
Well, "Just Harry", you're a wizard.
[Harry]
But I'm just Harry!
[Hagrid]
No, "Just Harry", you - are a wizard!
[Harry]
Listen here Hagrid I'm just Harry!
[Hagrid]
NO! Harry, you are a wizard!
[Harry]
I'm not a wizard, Hagrid, I'm just Harry!
[Hagrid]
Listen Harry, you are a wizard!
[Harry]
No Hagrid, I'm just Harry!
[Hagrid]
Harry, for god's sake, you are a wizard!
[Harry]
A WIZARD?! I'm just Harry!
[Hagrid]
Nooo, "Just Harry"! You're a wizard.
[Harry]
I'm not a wizard, Hagrid, I'm just Harry.
[Hagrid]
Noooooo. Just Harry. You are a wizard.
[Harry]
I'm not a wizard, Hagrid!
[Hagrid]
HARRY, you are a wizard!
[Harry]
Listen here Hagrid you FAT OAF! I'm not a FUCKING WIZARD!
[Hagrid]
For god's sake Harry, what is with this language?! You're a FUCKING WIZARD.
[Harry]
I don't give a FUCK you FAT HAIRY BASTARD! I'm not a FUCKING WIZARD!
[Hagrid]
Listen Harry, you're going to go to Hogwarts and do SPELLS and SHIT. And you're going to be FUCKING pleased about it!
[Harry]
I don't WANT to do your FUCKING spells you BASKET CASE! Stick it up your fucking DICK-HOLE!
[Hagrid]
My fucking WHAT?!?!
[Harry]
HAGRID, y'er pushing me over the FUCKING line!
[Hagrid]
No I'm not. You are a wizard! You're going to go to Hogwarts, you're going to do spells, you'll get a wand, you'll get a fucking owl, it'll deliver your mail - DEAL WITH IT. YA TWAT.
[Harry]
I'M GOING TO FUCKING PUT MY DICK IN THE OWL
[Hagrid]
I did that when I was younger, and that was a bad move. You, are a wizard.
[Harry]
I'm a WHAT?!
[Hagrid]
YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY, FOR FUCK SAKE, LISTEN TO MEH!
[Harry]
Hagrid I've been through this I don't give a BLOODY FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.
[Hagrid]
This is NOT negotiable! You come with me you SPECCY BOWL-HAIRED CUT FUCK SMALL DICK SKINNY CUNT EAT MORE WANKER
[Harry]
I'LL FUCKING SET YER BEARD ON FIRE!
[Hagrid]
'MON THEN YA LITTLE SPECCY CUNT, SQUARE-GO LIKE
[Harry]
I'LL FUCKING BURST YE'
[Hagrid]
Right you, you little wank stain. If you don't get your act together, I'm gonna drag you to hogwarts. You'll get a wand, you'll get an owl that'll deliver your SHITEY meal and that'll be that and you'll enjoy it ya' sch-ch-ff-chhssh-chinky.
[Harry]
I'll fucking GNAW yer ARM off, Hagrid!
[Hagrid]
Listen you, get near my arm and I'll slap you across the face like a little BITCH
[Harry]
I'll PUMP ye' SILLY.
[Hagrid]
C'MON THEN YA CUNT
[Harry]
SUCK MAH PIXIE DICK YA CHUBBY COON
[Hagrid]
I'll RUPTURE YOUR FUCKING ANUS WITH MAH MASSIVE BEAR COCK
[Harry]
I'll RIP YER GIANT DICK OFF AND BASH YE ACROSS THE JAW WITH IT
[Hagrid]
LET'S GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON YA LITTLE WANK