[McGonagall]
*Meow*
Dumblecunt’s gonna say a few words to you now so yous better pay some attention now yea?

[Dumbledore]
Good evening first years, and welcome, to hogwarts school – of witchcraft and wizardry!
Remember: the first floor is off bounds, to anyone who doesn’t wish to die, a most painful sexual death!
Very evil demons are in the first floor, very evil indeed. They have 12 PENISES! THEY WILL INSERT THEM INTO YOUR ORIFICES!

[McGonagall]
*mutters* dumblecunt.

[Dumbledore]
VERY DEEP INSIDE AN-… THEY WILL RUPTURE YOUR INSIDES!

[McGonagall]
Dumblecunt, we’ve just- we’ve got a few other things to talk about first.

[Dumbledore]
SHUT IT U STUPID WOMAN!

[McGonagall]
NO! No you do not talk to me like that thеse days!

[Dumbledore]
THEY NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE PENISES INSIDE OF THE VAGINA!
[McGonagall]
NO THEY DON’T! you little sick man!

[Dumbledore]
IT’S VERY IMPORTANT IT’S VERY DANEGROUS!

[McGonagall]
You’re such a sick bastard you look at- look- FUCK OFF!

[Dumbledore]
I AM DUMBLEDORE!

[McGonagall]
Shut up! I don’t givе a FUCK who you are, this is my bloody school soon shut up now

[Dumbledore]
Professor McGonagall ya wrinkley bitch.

[McGonagall]
Aw, why you callin’ me that, you BEARDED BASTARD!

[Dumbledore]
I’m trying to… emphasize the danger, of the situation

[McGonagall]
There’s no dangers
[Dumbledore]
THE PENISES OF THESE MONSTERS!

[McGonagall]
Why are ya talkin about their fooken penises all the time

[Dumbledore]
THEY’RE INSERTING THEIR PENISES INTO THE PUPILS OF OUR STUDENTS!

[McGonagall]
I think you’re a gay old bastard man!

[Dumbledore]
VERY SEXUAL an’

[McGonagall]
NO! No, why don’t you just shut up! You an’ your fooken Viagra spells.

[Dumbledore]
The first years are in danger from these PENIS DEMONS!

[McGonagall]
Look at that fucken harry bastard he’s still at least six years from fucken puberty.

[Dumbledore]
HARRY POTTER!
[McGonagall]
NO! you leave his little bottom alone.

[Dumbledore]
HARRY THEY’RE GONNA PENIS YER’ BOTTOM

[McGonagall]
Don’t be scaring him like that. The only thing that comes out of your bottom is poo. We only want poo coming out yer’ bottom

[Dumbledore]
YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL FROM THE PENISES!

[McGonagall]
First years, first years, don’t listen to the old fooker

[Dumbledore]
BIG. BULBOUS. PENISES.

[McGonagall]
my god, what is wrong with you all!?

[Dumbledore]
They’re going to rupture yer’ ANAL CAVITY!

[McGonagall]
He’s talking a load a’ SHIT

[Dumbledore]
YA BETTER WATCH OUT!

[McGonagall]
Look, I’m gonna fooken resign if ya carry on with this shit!

[Dumbledore]
LISTEN McGonagall ya’ CHUBBY COON
The fuck is wrong wae yae ya’ fucken PUSSY BITCH!?

[McGonagall]
Aw, why ya’ callin’ me that is it cos’ I turn into a fookin’ cat?

[Dumbledore]
YER’ A FUCKEN CAAGGHHT

[McGonagall]
Auch- aye yea, I know I’m a fookin’ cat, ya’ bastard

[Dumbledore]
WHY Y’NOT IN A CAGE!? YA’ FUCKEN ANIMAL?!

[McGonagall]
em…! Shut up!

[Dumbledore]
WHY ARE YA’ EVEN IN THIS FUCKEN HOGWARTS SCHOOL.

[McGonagall]
Y’KNOW WHAT?! YOU’RE NEVER GETTING A FUCKEN BLOW JOB FAE ME AGAIN!

[Dumbledore]
WHY DO I PAY YOU MONEY?

[McGonagall]
Y’DON’T YA FUCKEN MOULDY BASTARD!

[Dumbledore]
YER’ FUCKEN SHIT!

[McGonagall]
I do more in this school than anyone else does!

[Dumbledore]
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK M8