And now the story of Leopold Expeditus...

Born, oh I suppose in 1812
Leopold’s mother a mademoiselle
His father, the General whisked them away
To a colony in Africa where they would stay
They’d irrigate the land and teach mathematics
But then a surprise attack, the warlords wouldn’t have it
Direwolves appeared, to search for scraps amongst the ashes
They found young Leopold, hidden in the water brackish
Mother wolf raised Leopold, as her own critter
And paired him up with the runt of the litter
Its name was Taki Büm Büm, brave as a pup could be
Along with Leo’s smarts, a more adept team you’re not likely to meet

Taki Büm Büm and Leopold Expeditus, where are you off to now?
Where will you guide us?
Taki Büm Büm and Leopold Expeditus, your journey begins here
And soon you will unite us

Leopold sprouted his first chest hair
And then grew bored of doggy dares
His peach fuzz turned mustache
His curiosity never abashed
He swam the Balearic Sea
And enrolled in university
He learned to chart maps, graduated top of his class
His peers shied away, they could never truly grasp
Reared in the wild, an abandoner of his pack
With newfound knowledge he would embrace his canine past
Leopold made his way back to the African continent
He searched the northern lands, for their scent
He followed a trail, to a Dire Wolf den
Reunited with his friend, their adventures would soon begin
Taki Büm Büm and Leopold Expeditus, where are you off to now?
Where will you guide us?
Taki Büm Büm and Leopold Expeditus
Explore Africa, discovery the impetus

Near the Gulf Of Guinea they tried to teach a cannibal tribe
To instead eat produce, they barely escaped with their hides
In the Basin of Congo they found iridescent colossi
Tried to enact a trade they were, nearly thrown into the sky
They crossed the Saharan Desert, explored the Egyptian pyramids
They swam the Nile River and even tried to tame the Jaguar Basilisk
In Mozambique they steered, clear of the blue glowing fissure
But failed to reunite, a baby rhino with its lost herd

What are you looking for Leopold Expeditus?
What are you searching for in the middle of the desert?
What are you doing it all for Leopold Expeditus?
What are you searching for in the middle of nowhere?

But one night Taki Büm Büm
Heard a howl at the moon
And left Leo’s side
In the middle of the night
For twenty four weeks and sixty two days
Leopold waited for his friend to come back in sight
[Spoken]
“Day two hundred thirty, old Büm Büm has yet to return. I should move on, yet, I am compelled to stay and wait. Taki, mon ami poilu, if you’re out there, please, give me a sign. Sacrebleu! Ca fait longtemps!”

[Sung]
“They crested the Dunes, there were at least seven
A Dire Wolf parade, it could not be mistaken
I did not recognize their faces, but I knew their patterns
They are Taki Büm Büm’s litter, they have the same hunger for adventure!
HeHa! On y va!”

Leopold and his pack, travelled as a brigade
Reformed those cannibals with crème brulee
They even managed to trade man-flambé
For extra large slacks iridescent colossi made
Charted many oases, of the Saharan desert
They tamed the Jaguar Basilisk, and no one got real hurt
They waded deep into the blue glowing fissure, pulled out the Rhino’s crash
The excitement could not be dashed

Explorer Leopold, Wolfkin Expeditus, Seven Büm Büm Pups, fear can bite us!
On to Europe, and then onto Asia
We’ll trot the entire globe, its mysteries can’t escape us

“Taki Büm Büm, you and your kin
On multiple occasions saved my skin
People may cheer, Leopold Expeditus
But I’ll always know, our friendship was the tightest
HeHa! On y va.”