Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you, and how

If you feel a fart a-coming, better squeeze them cheeks
Less you rip one into the air
Their fart copter's coming, gonna take you away
To their secret Fart Patrol lair
If you're tootin', you better be scootin'
'Cause all that butt fluting's gonna clear the space
The Fart Patrol is just doing their duty
Before your doodie tooties get all over the place

Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you, and how

When the clock is a-ticking and the sun's going down
But you're hoping for a toot (Toot, toot)
Bang, crash from the wall, here's the Fart Patrol
With the cans of a musical fruit (Fruit)
Now you're chowin' down hoping for some bean sounds
Hey, I think I heard a fart (Fart)
Fart Patrol, come get a high five
'Cause the chorus is about to start

Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you, and how
W-w-w-wait, hold on
Does the Fart Patrol come after you if you fart or if you don't fart?
Spine, it's j-j-j-j-just a song, you're overthinking it
Yeah, The Spine
Wait, why did we write this song?
I don't know, is this song really gonna help our careers?
I dunno, but we're doing it
No one's gonna want to listen to this
Well, that's the thing, The Spine
They're already listening to it right now

Rut-roh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you, and how

Uh-oh, Fart Patrol, kiss me on the mouth
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol, can I live without?
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol, I am smitten with your love
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol, you were sent from heaven above

Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you, and how
Uh-oh, Fart Patrol coming to get you now