[Verse 1]
Wake up, switch on
I eat my breakfast and the picture goes wrong
Give it a slap, give it a jog
I better hurry or I'll miss the epilogue
Ride high without a saddle
Down the rapids in a boat without a paddle
I am the scourge of the high sea
Just you watch 'em running when they hear about me

[Chorus]
One, two, three, hail T.V
Watching Dirty Harry made a man of me
Here I stand, T.V. Man
I've got all the angels eating out of my hands
I've got good, bad and ugly traits
But even Dirty Harry was allowed to make mistakes

[Verse 2]
Knock, knock
There's someone at the door
I can't imagine, I can't imagine
I can't imagine what they come around here for
Could be the rent or HP
Whatever it is, they gonna bleed me
Well, I've got no money, nothing to borrow
Just you go away now, don't come back tomorrow
[Chorus]
Say one, two, three, hail T.V
Watching Dirty Harry made a man of me
Here I stand, T.V. Man
I've got all the angels eating out of my hands
I've got good, bad and ugly traits
But even Dirty Harry was allowed to make mistakes, occasionally

[Bridge]
It's so hot here under the sun
Just him and me and a couple of six guns
I look at him, he looks at me
Out come the guns, who will it be?

[Chorus]
One, two, three, hail T.V
Watching Dirty Harry made a man of me
And now here I stand, T.V. Man
I've got all the angels eating out of my hands
I've got the good, the bad and the ugly traits
But even everybody makes mistakes

One, two, three, hail T.V
I don't need to move 'cause I got all that I need
I just forget the day, forget the slog
Just sit back and listen to my T.V. god