[Verse 1]
I gave up pimento cheese
Domino's delivery
Whiskey sours, apple pies
Finger-lickin', chicken-fried
Are gastronomic history
I used to like them scary shows
But I gave them up a while ago
Don't do no death-defyin', roller-coaster ridin'
Now-days I just take it slow

[Pre-Chorus]
Ever since we started datin'
I been compensatin'
To keep from gettin' up
To heaven any quicker

[Chorus]
'Cause she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she ought to have a sticker
Saying hard on the ticker

[Verse 2]
Now, when she wiggles through my door
My chin gets heavy hits the floor
Silky hair, scarlet lips, swingin' double-jointed hips
My blood begins to roar
And when she nibbles on my ear
It's partly pleasure, partly fear
A little dab is all it takes, to get my heart a-palpitatin'
Feelin' like the end is near
[Pre-Chorus]
I ought to get a policy
A double indemnity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer

[Chorus]
'Cause she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she ought to have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

[Bridge]
That's my girl
Yeah, she's hard on the ticker

[Pre-Chorus]
I ought to get a policy
A double indemnity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer

[Chorus]
'Cause she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she ought to have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker
[Outro]
Oh, she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
She's hard on the ticker