[Intro: Ross as Santa]
Mmm yeah
Ho ho ho
Oh shit I got ten minutes
Oh I need to do something with my dick
Hmm, oh god Tumblr's got some good shit on there
Ooh, oh god PornHub's shitty
Incest? No thank you
It's Tumblr for me all the way
Always Tumblr
Mmm

[Verse 1]
Looking at some demon dicks on the web
Some hog tied elves giving unicorns head
Aliens with tits? Why the fuck not?
I'm a pretty weird guy, you better watch out thots

I've tried all the Twitch streams, they don't get me on
All the normal porn sites just make me soft
I'll be squeezing my hog like a little fumbler
I only get my porn from the blogs at Tumblr

[Hook: Smith, Trott, Ross]
Secret Santa
Clear your browser (yeah)
Secret Santa (good shit)
Clear your goddamn browser

[Verse 2: Ross]
The weird shit I'm into helps me empty my sack
Cartoon cake farts and furries' crack
Two girls one cup might not do it for you
I've jerked it to futa and yaoi too

Step-mum, stepson don't do it for me
I can only cum when it's inter-species
Kink-shame me now and you'll always regret
I once saw a horse get sucked off by a vet

[Hook: Smith, Trott, Ross]
Secret Santa
Clear your browser
Secret santa (yeah)
Clear your fucking browser (oh yeah)

[Verse 3: Ross, Smith]
All the way
I'm going all the way with this one oh yeah
Oh wait where's it gone?
I can't see it
It's gone it's not on-
Oh it's not on the site anymore
What the fuck?

(Secret Santa)
What the fuck where's my fucking shit? I want my fucking porn
(Clear your browser)
I can't find my fucking porn on Tumblr
(Secret Santa)
Where did it go? Where's it going that's the best shit ever
(Clear your fucking browser)
I'm gonna fucking flip a chain or some shit

Where's my fucking porn?
Goddammit
What the fuck is this shit?
What's the fucking point?
I'm not delivering fucking presents to kids
Fuck this shit
Yeah I'm fucking-
I'm gonna get fucking high
Jesus

[Outro: Smith, Trott, Ross]
Okay that's enough
What did you want me to do?
To go back to the bass but it's alright
That's fine, we can just cut as "I wanna get fucking high"
I'm gonna go get fucking high this is bullshit
It's gone from my favourite fucking site
I think we nailed it, right?
Yeah I think we got, we got ninety percent of that
I think that was it, that was it, that was good
That was pretty- that was the one, that was the one