[BETTY FORD]
Susan!

[AMY CARTER]
Your mom’s funny

[SUSAN FORD]
Funny as in ha ha funny
Or funny as in stark raving mad,
Squirrelly weirdo funny?

[AMY]
Just funny

[BETTY]
Rosalynn, come and dance with me

[AMY]
My mom’s too boring to dance around

[SUSAN]
Your mom’s normal

[AMY]
My mom’s boring
[BETTY]
Come on, ladies
Let’s get that blood pumping!
You wanna know how deep the ocean is, I’ll tell ya
You wanna know how high the mountains are
This ain’t a bill of goods or the Brooklyn Bridge
I’m tryin’ to sell ya
I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far

[ROSALYNN CARTER]
Amy, don’t climb on the railin’

[AMY]
Susan is

[ROSALYNN]
Susan’s a big girl

[BETTY]
Susan, come and partner

[SUSAN]
No, Mother

Mother likes to dance
Can’t stop her
Mother likes to dance
She doesn’t care what I think
She’d rather go disco and drink
She ought to see a good shrink
‘Cause it’s embarrassing
[AMY]
Can I try on your sunglasses?

[SUSAN]
Ugh
No

Some mothers know how to be still
How to behave, how to just chill
Some mothers know how to stay in line
Some mothers don’t jitterbug, jump
Tango, or waltz, or practice the bump
Some mothers are normal, but not mine

[BETTY]
Susan!

[SUSAN]
Not mine!

[BETTY]
There’s not a star that shines as bright as you
Don’t doubt it
Ya got a smile that’s brighter than a star
And when ya flash that smile at me
I’ve simply gotta shout it
I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far
[SUSAN]
Mother has to dance
Can’t stand it
Mother has to dance
She doesn’t care what I think
She doesn’t care, not a bit
Sometimes I wish I could break her legs
Just to get her to sit

Some mothers are right in the brain
Calm and polite, perfectly sane
Yours is, through and through
But my mother likes to dance
So she’ll dance and dance and dance
And it’s embarrassing

[SUSAN]
I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far
I’m lost, without a clue
There’s nothing I can do
Except to envy you

Phew, now that worked up a thirst

[ROSALYNN]
Oh, Betty, should you really have another?

[BETTY]
Why not?

[SUSAN]
Mother likes to drink
I hate her
Mother likes to drink

[BETTY]
Besides, it’s Amy’s dream

[ROSALYNN]
I thought it was Susan’s dream

[SUSAN]
If it were my dream
I wouldn’t be sailing up and down the Potomac River
For hours on end with you guys

[AMY]
Don’t you like my dream?

[ROSALYNN]
Amy Carter, I told you to get off that railing

[AMY]
I like the presidential yacht
It’s cool

[BETTY]
I like being in someone else’s dream
I don’t have to worry about doing something wrong
Like in my dreams
Billy Beer?

[ROSALYNN]
No, thank you

[AMY]
Can I have one?

[BETTY]
Sure

[ROSALYNN]
No, Amy

[AMY]
Mom, just sit and read your boring book

[ROSALYNN]
All right, darlin’

[SUSAN]
Why are we in your dream?

[AMY]
Well, I’m not sure why your mom is

[BETTY]
Ah, freshy fresh

[SUSAN]
Why am I here?

[AMY]
You had your high school prom in the White House