[Verse 1]
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I've seen those English dramas too; they're cruel
So if there's any other way to spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

[Chorus 1]
Why would you speak to me that way?
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain, I always tell the truth

[Verse 2]
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too, I did
I met the highest Lama
His accent sounded fine to me, to me

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Take your handbook, it's no trick
Take the chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

[Chorus 2]
Why would you lie 'bout how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie 'bout anything at all?
First the window, then it's to the wall
Lil Jon, he always tells the truth
[Instrumental Bridge]

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Check your passport, it's no trick
Take the chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys

[Chorus 3]
Why would you lie 'bout how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie 'bout anything at all?
First the window, then it's to the wall
Why would you tape my conversations?
Show your paintings at the United Nations
Lil Jon, he always tells the truth