HENRY:
When a fellow needs a little helping hand
Who'll be there? It's almost guaranteed
No one else could ever really understand
Only another man knows what you need
And when a man has fallen down upon his knees
In such a moment who'd be better than
Someone who's self-controlled
Someone who's strong and bold
Someone as good as gold
It's better with a man

MONTY:
Better with a man

HENRY:
(spoken) Then you agree, my friend?

MONTY:
(spoken) Indeed, I do!
When a man is lonely he can always find
Another man who's feeling just the same
Drink will help you get your troubles off your mind
You'll both be blind before you know his name
And in that rousing climax when your horse comes in
Who will cheer as loudly as he can?
Only a man can see
The meaning of victory
Oh, the camaraderie
It's better with a man
HENRY:
It's better with a man

MONTY:
Women have much to recommend

HENRY:
Women have much to recommend
Lord knows I've had my share

HENRY & MONTY:
But when a fellow needs a friend...

HENRY:
That's a totally different affair

MONTY:
Women are soft against your skin
They're awfully nice to nestle with

HENRY:
But when the sport is masculine-

HENRY & MONTY:
You need a man to wrestle with!
HENRY:
Gentlemen have secrets they will never tell

MONTY:
Gentlemen have secrets they will never tell

HENRY:
No, they will never tell

HENRY & MONTY:
They'll never tell their wives

HENRY:
Married men know there are things you must not say

HENRY & MONTY:
Discretion is the only way
That love survives

HENRY:
Men are always there

MONTY:
Men are always there

HENRY:
Always there to share
MONTY:
Always there to share
And take good care
As mates and brothers

HENRY:
Nothing can compare
For instance

HENRY & MONTY:
Take a look at us
It's been ever thus
Since boarding school began

HENRY:
Women are too complex

MONTY:
Women too often vex

HENRY & MONTY:
Men are a simpler sex

HENRY:
It's better with a man

MONTY:
Better with a man

HENRY:
Better with a man

HENRY & MONTY:
Better with a man!

(spoken) Bottoms up!