This is pretty sudden, but I
Think that I'm going to hang myself now
I'd like to say goodbye
To this miserable world as soon as I can

But you know what's strange?
...I couldn't find a rope to hang myself with

What a wonderful life this is!
What a wonderful life this is!
Since there was no rope to hang myself with
I'm still alive

Next time for sure—I think
I'll attempt to suffocate myself
I'd like to see my life flash before my eyes
As I suffer from carbon monoxide poisoning

But you know what's strange?
My lighter was running out of fluid

What a wonderful life this is!
What a wonderful life this is!
Since my lighter was running out of fluid
I'm still alivе

Third time's the charm—I think
That I'll say goodbye to this world by overdosing
I'll wash tons of pills down with water
Lie down in bed, and wait for the moment

But you know what's strange?
My water has been cut off

What a wonderful life this is!
What a wonderful life this is!
Since I forgot to pay my water bill
I'm still alive, still surviving
I suppose this life, as if whimsically
Will keep on providing me with reasons not to go through with it
I'm sure you think me painful to look at, but
I hope that we can become acquainted

Appara Pa~ra Pappa